Ten years ago, I made a decision.

Not just to start a business.
Not just to become a counselor.
But to build something for myself while I was still figuring life out.

I had goals.

To not work for someone else.
To prove people wrong.
To show myself that I could complete something.
To become something other than what my past suggested I would be.

And ten years later…
I did it.

So the question becomes:

What is success?

Because if I’m honest—
success doesn’t feel the way I thought it would.

It doesn’t feel like excitement.
It doesn’t feel like celebration.

It feels like… relief.

Relief that I made it through.
Relief that I didn’t quit.
Relief that despite the words spoken over me—
I am still here.

There were words along the way.
Lots and lots of words.
Conversations… lots of conversations.
Some I was privy to and some I wasn’t,
yet I still dredged on.

And somewhere along the way, I learned something that contradicts what many of us were taught:

Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

Words do hurt.

Not just in the moment.
But over time.

They shape beliefs.
They influence identity.
They create something internal that doesn’t always go away just because you succeeded.

I have a career because of words.
Because I understand how one word can shift a belief…
and how one belief can shift a life.

My goal was simple:

To help one woman change one word.
Because if she changed one word,
she could change how she sees herself.
And if she changed how she sees herself,
everything connected to her would change.

And ten years later, I can see the impact.

The work I’ve done.
The space I’ve held.
The lives that have shifted - past, present, and those I may never even know about.

And still…

I found myself asking questions I didn’t expect:

Did I do my best?
Could I have done things differently?
Did I choose this work because of unresolved parts of my own life?
Am I helping others while still figuring things out myself?

And the answer is - yes.

Yes, I am still evolving.
Yes, I am still learning.
Yes, there are parts of my life that are still unfolding.

But that does not cancel the work.
And it does not make the work less real.

Because success was never perfection.

Success was showing up.
Doing the work.
Believing in the work -
even when I was still becoming.

What I’ve come to understand is this:

There is a version of success that is built on survival.

It is driven by proving.
By pushing.
By becoming in response to what was said, expected, or doubted.

And then there is another version of success -
one that doesn’t come from proving anything.

One that comes from knowing.

Knowing that what you built is real.
Knowing that your impact is real.
Knowing that you did not give up on yourself.

Even when it would have been easier to.

Ten years later, I am not celebrating the way I thought I would.

I am reflecting.
I am releasing.
I am recognizing.

Recognizing that I reached the goal -
but I am still learning how to live beyond the reason I needed the goal.

Because the same mindset that helped me build this…
is not the same mindset that will allow me to enjoy it.

And that is the next phase.

Not building.
Not proving.
But releasing.

Releasing the need to respond to every word spoken over me.
Releasing the need to be defined by what I had to overcome.
Releasing the version of myself that had to survive in order to get here.

Because surviving will build a life.
But it will not always allow you to rest in it.

So ten years later, success is not what I thought it would be.

It is not loud.
It is not performative.
It is not even something that needs to be explained.

It is quiet.

It is steady.

And more than anything…

It is relief.

Relief that I did the work.
Relief that I believed in the work.
Relief that I kept going -
even when I was still figuring things out.

And maybe that is what success actually is.

Not arriving.
Not having it all together.
Not being untouched by your past.

But knowing -

You showed up.
You stayed consistent.
You created something meaningful.

And you are still here.